Many times over the course of four years, Lauri imagined walking through the doors of the San Diego Sheriff’s Office to close the case file on her mother’s murder investigation. She pictured it like a movie – walking in triumphant, the smart, resourceful, golden child/crime solver, handing investigators the key shred of evidence needed to convict Jane’s killer. Having a vision of the end kept Lauri sane. Wracked with intense guilt and driven by the overwhelming desire to make her mother proud, one last time, Lauri became obsessed with finding the killer, and nothing would keep her from that goal. “If you can see it, you can achieve it,” Jane would often remind her determined child, encouraging Lauri to envision being the high school homecoming queen or college graduate, with the promise that her unconscious brain would magically lead her to success and the coveted crown. But in the case of her mother’s murder, what Lauri had so desperately searched for and so meticulously envisioned, and what she actually found, were two shockingly different things.
After a year and half of jurisdictional wrangling between San Diego and Mexico, the case began to crack when, frantic for resolution and closure, Lauri consulted famed FBI profiler Candice DeLong. With Candice’s guidance and encouragement, Lauri began to dig deeper for new clues – transforming from a suburban PTA mom and marketing executive into a skilled and effective investigator who earned the praise of seasoned, cold case detectives, Special Agents and her FBI mentor. Her relentless search ultimately paid off when Lauri discovered a key piece of evidence that eventually led to a shocking revelation about her mother’s death.
Lauri had searched tirelessly for her mother’s killer, seeking not only an answer to the crime itself, but relief from her own complex feelings of guilt over their unresolved relationship and Lauri’s belief that she could have done something to prevent her mother’s death. As the investigation of Jane’s life and death unfolds, Lauri becomes empowered by the truth, finding her voice and the resolve to let go of the staggering guilt and shame that had haunted her for years. In the end, Lauri not only solves the case, she finds the compassion to forgive her mother and herself, once and for all.
